If you are getting divorced in Thailand, then you can consider a divorce agreement. This is normally an unopposed divorce and it is much easier and less costly than litigation. The divorce agreement is usually drafted by a divorce lawyer in Thailand which simply gets handed in at the local Amphurs office in Thailand, normally where you got married.
This has been covered elsewhere on this website and you can see how this can be abused by one party and also the issues of payment and considering your circumstances you might consider paying for certain things directly such as private schooling or medical care. It is not uncommon for one party to abuse the money when it was intended for raising the child or children. The only person who knows what is best in the circumstances would be you and this you will need to convey to your attorney in Thailand.
This is common in middle class Thailand however it is normally temporary in nature. Normally they would want to study further to enter the work place but as stated this is normally a middle class type settlement. This however when denied will always be tried to be rolled into the child maintenance payments. If, however the foreign party gets custody and takes the child or children back to the West there is not usually (there are exceptions) a ruling in terms of child maintenance or spousal support. Its normally a lump sum payment as settlement.
This can be a litigation issue but most times people reach settlement of this by way of agreement. Not always but can be settled most times by agreement. Most times the child will remain in Thailand and when older as in a teenager the child can leave the country once a year to visit the other parent. Disputes occur where one party believes that the other person is of no value to the child and an incompetent. There have been many cases in Thailand where full custody had been granted to a foreigner and allowed to take the child home with him back to the west. It’s not uncommon but there will need to be good reason for this. Drug abuse, criminal behaviour is normally where this starts. There have been many high profile cases like these in Thailand.
Depending on your reasons for the divorce, these issues such as spousal support do change. You could be sued for damages if you had been having an affair with another party. This would play into the issue of spousal support and also into child custody. The Thai courts tend to be very fair in this regard and have over the years settled these issues amicably. There have also been cases that became violent with murder and extortion occurring during the trial. You can search the Bangkok Post for many of these stories in their archives.
Consult a family lawyer in Thailand and ensure that the matter gets settled as fast as possible. It’s not only a stressful situation for yourself but also for the children. Many of the violent endings which make the news tended to be litigation that drags on for years.